Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Day Twenty- Six Basic Human Needs

Earlier this year I went on a two
day course in London, Unleash The Power Within, run by Tony Robbins. My already enlightened friend, Lindsey, recommended it to me knowing I was not in a good place in my life. Tony is the most amazing speaker and coach. He has a gigantic personality, incredible presence and awesome people skills. He's also larger than life - a giant of a man in every sense (please YouTube him- it will be worth it).
I think I learnt more in one weekend than I've ever learnt in my life before until now, and all of it relevant and useful to real life(rather than the square route of something or how to mould perspex to make a mirror stand...)
And the most memorable part is , I believe, relevant to anyone who has sugar cravings, a very sweet tooth, or are addicted to CRAP foods (caffeine, refined, alcohol, processed).
We human beings, Tony Robbins identified, have six basic needs : certainty, uncertainty/variety, significance, love/affection, contribution and growth. Whilst we all have the same six needs, they vary by individual as to how important they are. If your needs, and particularly your key needs, are being met, chances are you'll be happy and content. If they're not, however, it can throw your life completely out of balance. And boy do I know how challenging that is!
Having got divorced five years ago, even though it was civilised, friendly and respectful on both parts (we're still good friends and holiday with our three children together) it threw me big time! All of a sudden I had no security,and no certainty, and I've worked out that these along with love/affection are my key needs. I had a 'wobble', a major 'wobble' for a long time.
I was eating very little and what I did eat, wasn't full of nutrition. I craved sweets and chocolate, and even pink fizz to give me comfort/security/good feelings....and it did, but very temporarily. That's the key word here. Sweet food hits the spot but it's rubbish to your body so your body asks for more food. When you give it more sweet,empty,no nutrient stuff it keeps asking for more, until it gets good food to satisfy. That's how many people, particularly obese people can 'put away' so much fast food. It doesn't satisfy them, so they keep eating. There is no STOP button! So inside emotionally I still felt empty. I lost weight and my skin condition deteriorated, and my moods were very up and down.
To cut a long story short I'm much better than I was, but still am challenged with the security and certainty issues. I now feel loved, but keep pushing to get the other two in all areas of my life, and it's slow coming.
Tony helped amazingly by helping me change my pattern. It's easy for us to get stuck in a rut of negative behaviour and food is often playing a very large part in this. My six week no sugar journey has thrown up my insecurities again, as I have lost my 'crutch'. John is great; he's helping me through my mood swings by being patient and reassuring.
How about you take a look at your needs and which are most important to you. Tony suggests scoring them out of ten in terms of importance, and then scoring them out of ten, positive ten or negative ten as to whether they are currently being met! It's an enlightening exercise and may throw up some stuff that you don't really want to deal with. Are you comforting yourself with food? Are you making up for aspects of your life not meeting a need by drinking too much alcohol? By eating too much cake? By reaching for the biscuits? Food for thought.
Tony has many books available on the Internet. I can highly recommend any and all of them. He also has a CD/DVD collection available to help personal relationships. It challenges everything about us and how we work/live/love/co-habit with others, and why and how we live with certain learnt behaviour and patterns that create the structure of our lives. It's often something that can be changed very simply and easily and he offers techniques to do this. Tony prides himself on helping as many people around the world as he possibly can, and has a special passion to make the world a better place. I'm not worthy.......
Today's food:
Breakfast : Protein shake/blueberries
Lunch: turkey, asparagus, hummus, black olives, grated carrot. Coconut pudding.
Dinner: Bolognaise sauce with iceberg lettuce. Chocolate mousse. Mineral water with lime.
Lots of cold water because it's been so hot today.
Day twenty done! Twenty two days to go!

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